04.11.10
Posted in Blessings, Encouragement, Inspirational, Love, Self Reflection, Simplicity, Thankfulness, Uncategorized at 7:14 am by Sandi Rauwolf
Life is a precious gift and we don’t know the hour or the day of when we will leave this life. At that moment, there is mourning and our focus changes to a time when we no longer focus on life but upon death. Death, a projection of opposite imagery of Life meets in the middle to share a common bond, a precious gift.
We lost my great Aunt a week and a half ago to pancreatic cancer. She fought a long 17 month battle with the most painful cancer. She knew there was a better place than this suffering and did not fear death, she welcomed it – to her and all those who loved her, we embraced that day thru tears as a precious gift … an end to her suffering.
On Saturday they held the memorial service. I sat there listening to the Pastor paint this absolutely beautiful picture of my Aunt’s life. Different people shared with him things that she had done which had impacted their lives. I sat there with tears streaming down my face because I was so proud that she was MY Aunt. She lived a true life of Love. She wasn’t a pastor, she wasn’t one to go around sharing her beliefs … she lived it. As a result, it made others want to be like her … to live that Love because her entire life spoke Love without a single word. Thru my tears, I thanked God for the gift of both my Aunt’s Life and Death. God then whispered within my heart “The Dash”, encourage others to live the dash. Please watch this, it will be a true gift to you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ch8oOWkGd8Y&feature=related
As I sat there in the memorial service so proud that she was MY Aunt, it was sealed within my heart that no matter what discouragement I may face in this world that I am to continue to live that Love and encourage others to do the same. What an honor it would be to think that some day the words spoken at my memorial service could be a gift to each person there.
This blog is dedicated to my sweet Aunt Ocie Wise, who left this world 03/31/10 at the age of 78.
May you live your life in and thru Love being mindful of the mark you will leave in this world … your dash.
Much love to you all!
Sandi Rauwolf
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01.24.10
Posted in Challenges and Strengths, Faith, Inspirational, Personal Perspective, Self Reflection at 8:40 pm by Sandi Rauwolf
Last night Chris took down the snowmen that were lining our sidewalk with light going to our front door. They are solar powered but have switches that allow you to turn them off. The weather has been snowy and wet so he placed them on a white towel on the table to dry over night. This morning I walked downstairs fairly early. It was still dark outside and there on the table were the four snowmen. Three didn’t have their lights on but one little snowman had light shining really bright. My eyes immediately focused on the one lit up, he was so beautiful. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.
He brought this beautiful, soft light to a dark room just being there on that table. He had a smile on his face and although he didn’t say a word, light radiated from every part of him. He brightened the room and made me smile. What a great thing to walk downstairs to this morning. I was sharing with Chris that I thought it was so neat how this one little snowman stayed lit up even though the others didn’t. He said it was lit up because its switch was broken. I said, “What do you mean?” He said, “Well there is a button on top you have to push to turn it off. That one you can keep pushing the button but it doesn’t turn off.” I thought that is a good word! Most people would think he’s broken but I think he is perfect! It’s our perspective that needs to be fixed, not him. He is exactly the way he is supposed to be; actually that little snowman is exactly how all of us are supposed to be.
People and things in life are going to push our buttons over and over again but if we continue to focus upward and keep going, our faith will grow and soon no one will be able to take away our joy no matter how many times our buttons are pushed.
I wanted to take a picture of these snowmen to post with my blog and something interesting happened. The three snowmen with their lights off were lying with their faces up and in a position that looked like they were standing. But, the one with the light, well no matter what I did to try and get him to face the same way as the others, he kept turning as if he was walking forward. Here’s the picture:
It amazes me how we can learn so much thru the simple things that surround us every day like these snowmen. A few things that came to my heart were:
1) We can make a difference by letting the light of who we were made to be shine without a single word. Be true to who you were made to be.
2) Our eyes are drawn to that light instinctively and as a result we look past the bad that may be surrounding us. It’s up to us if we leave our eyes focused on the one that’s lit up or the three that aren’t. Remain focused on the good – be thankful for what you do have and quit looking at what you don’t have.
3) People and circumstances in life will push our buttons but it is up to us if we will allow it to dim or turn off the light within our hearts. We have a choice to focus on how much our buttons are being pushed or to focus on ensuring at the end of the day we were able to stay true to who we were made to be (i.e. be the bigger person – not getting angry, bitter, judgmental, or saying/doing something we regret, etc.). Don’t focus on the person or thing in life trying to bring you down, focus on being who you were made to be and let God work on them.
Inner reflection – where’s your focus? Is it on the snowman lit up or on the three that aren’t? If you are in a place where you feel overwhelmed or want to better your life, I encourage you to begin focusing your eyes and thoughts on what is good. If you continue to look for the bad things then that is all you see (that gets exhausting and overwhelming), but if you choose to focus your eyes and mind on what is good then soon that is all you see. You then realize the truth – it wasn’t your circumstances that had to change, it was your perspective.
With much love,
Sandi Rauwolf
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12.18.08
Posted in Believe, Christmas, Self Reflection at 11:14 pm by Sandi Rauwolf
We headed to Indy this past weekend for a family weekend to celebrate my mother-in-law’s birthday. It’s a great tradition and one we look forward to every year! We go to the zoo – bundled up with little ones in tow as we walk down the beautifully lit paths lined with Christmas lights sparkling from the bushes and trees. Little red noses and rosy cheeks peek out through the hats and scarves. The kids think it’s cool they can see their breath when they talk! They can’t contain their excitement because they know this cold walk on a path lined with beautiful lights was leading us to Santa (which happens to be in a warm, cozy house! :) The kids didn’t seem to notice the cold but the adults were freezing – brrrr!!! The adults thought about getting warm and the kids about Santa but all focused on one destination and that was Santa’s house! There were multiple paths seamlessly interconnected as if a skilled artist used his black paint-filled brush to effortlessly glide along the canvas drawing each to its destination. Soon we approached Santa’s house and hurriedly crammed inside the door only to stand in an endless line to see Santa.
Kids were doing their best to behave because although they have always been told that Santa is watching them, this time they KNEW he really was! Despite their best efforts, something would lure them away – maybe the reindeer station where they could see a real reindeer or maybe Mrs. Claus’s cookies that they could help decorate. But, their parents were there to gather them back and keep them focused on why they were there and that was to see Santa! You could see in their faces how hard they were trying to be good!!! The younger they were, the more they would wander or be easily persuaded off path. Then their mom or dad would bring them back once again just to have their brother or sister wander off in another direction. Then finally the little tots were back in line and looking up to the older kids – great idea! Well, it WAS until the older kids wandered off path and all of the little tots followed – first one, then another and then yet another. But the parents were there again gathering them all up and getting them back in line.
The little ones, so sweet, innocent and naïve were more easily pulled off path. Not all of them wandered, some young tikes were standing in line very determined to focus on Santa – nothing would pull them away!! Or would it? Well nothing until an older kid stepped out of line making them think it was ok to do the same. Or when another kid grabbed their hand to pull them towards something that seemed better than standing in a “boring” line to a Santa they weren’t even sure was there!! After all, they couldn’t see him thru all of the towering older kids and crowds of people – so is he real?
Standing there in line Chris and I were helping keep all of the little ones from wandering. I felt blessed with an uncanny depiction of what God must see when He looks down from heaven at US. He has children of all ages – some infants just learning to walk, some adolescents fairly strong in their walk but some times pulled away and others mature focused with their eyes on Him.
We are each at different stages of our spiritual walk with God. We’ve all wandered off path at one point in our lives and actually we may have even pulled others off of their paths at times. Where are we today in our walk with God? I mean we know God is always with us even if we can’t see Him past the crowds … but are we as faithful to Him in our hearts as we say we are or when tempted do we find that we make everything but Him our number one priority and are easily pulled out of line? So I guess I am asking:
Are we the kid who easily wanders out of line?
“They greatly love to wander; they do not restrain their feet.” Jeremiah 14:10
Or …
Are we the kid in line with his/her eyes focused on God?
“Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.” Joshua 1:7
We never know how many little tikes might be looking our direction to see what we are going to do or how we will react in a situation (especially when we are tested) … so how do you act in line?
May God bless you!!
Love,
Sandi
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11.08.08
Posted in Blessings, Challenges and Strengths, Joy, Personal Perspective, Self Reflection at 7:11 am by Sandi Rauwolf
First I wanted to start out by saying thank you so much for all of the emails and prayers about Samantha’s surgery. We are incredibly blessed with such caring people in our life! I’m sorry I haven’t been able to find time to sit down and write my blog sooner. Samantha’s surgery went well. She is bouncing around like a normal 6 year old. The doctor should be testing her hearing soon to determine how effective the surgery was for her. But I will tell you we have seen a significant improvement in her hearing and in her!
The thing that touched our hearts the most is what we have seen in our little girl. Over the last week she has been the happiest we have ever seen her. She is constantly smiling, singing – just so joyful! It’s amazing and as if a whole new world has opened up for her. As I stand watching her almost float around the house without a single worry in the world, I couldn’t help but smile and bask in the happy, joyfulness of our little angel. I found my heart overflowing in her delight because I love her so much. As I was enjoying that special moment I felt as if God gently whispered to me, “that is how I feel when my children are filled with joyfulness”. And I sat there thinking about what a loving God we have and how much He does want us to experience joy in all. I felt as if at that very moment God was standing there with me smiling at this precious little angel filling the room with peace and love. What a tremendous gift to me on such a stressful day that seemed to suck the life right out of me!
It’s amazing how our attitudes affect the world isn’t it? How many times do we have something going on in our lives that let’s just say causes us to fall short of filling a room with peace and love? Life in this world can be so demanding, so exhausting, and so stressful! It can dangerously cause our hearts to be calloused (emotionally hardened).
Matthew 13:15 “For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them”.
When our hearts harden, we are no longer open to what God is trying to do in our lives or others. Suddenly we can hardly hear God’s voice although He is speaking to us loud and clear (just like I described in my last blog when Samantha’s ears were filled with fluid). When life robs us of that peace and joy, how effective are we when God sends someone into our path?
What do I mean by that? Well, there are no coincidences with God – things don’t “just” happen. It’s not a matter of luck or being in the right place at the right time. If someone crosses our path we need to be open to what God may be doing – whose life He may be trying to touch. A concept I failed to understand for so long is that each of us has a role, a very specific purpose here. Long before we even realize that purpose, we have unknowingly touched many lives that have crossed our paths. I was in a particular season in my life many years ago where I didn’t grasp this concept. I didn’t think I made a difference in a single life but God taught me otherwise. We have touched another life with something as simple as a smile or letting someone step ahead of us in line at the grocery store. That smile, that simple act of kindness God may have used to completely change the path that person was on that day – just like God did for me watching Samantha fill the room with peace and love. I know personally when I let life rob me of God’s peace and joy I certainly am in no mood to help anyone nor do I want to be helped – this is the true danger of a hardened heart!
But God understands this – that is why He has given us a way to peace, joy and eternal life. When we seek worldly things to fill us with peace and joy we may experience joy for a moment or two but it is short-lived. We are left feeling empty again, feeling lost. But thru those failures, thru that emptiness we find that those adversities cause us to seek something bigger … to discover the true meaning of life! To discover Him! Once we welcome Him into our hearts and begin our walk with Him – nothing, not even the grave can rob us of that joy because He is now with us (Psalm 16:9-11) He begins to change us and as we mature in our spiritual walk it is amazing the things we can see, hear and how He changes our hearts. We truly can find joy in ALL. We can be kind and loving, effective and productive (2 Peter 1:1-11) even in our weakness. As Paul describes in 2 Corinthians 12:10 in our weakness, we find strength.
We never know who may be coming into our paths … whose life God may be trying to reach thru us. Often thru those interactions God brings us a very special gift like the story of the old Fisherman (I share below – thank you Faye :).
May God bless each of you and fill your life with peace, joy and a true understanding of life … the life He wants for each of us and that is eternal life with Him thru His son Jesus Christ (John 3:16). God bless!
Love,
Sandi :)
THE OLD FISHERMAN
Our house was directly across the street from the clinic entrance of Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. We lived downstairs and rented the upstairs rooms to out-patients at the Clinic.
One summer evening as I was preparing supper, there was a knock at the door I opened it to see a truly awful looking man. ‘Why, he’s hardly taller than my eight-year-old,’ I thought as I stared at the stooped, shriveled body.
But the appalling thing was his face, lopsided from swelling, red and raw Yet his voice was pleasant as he said, ‘Good evening. I’ve come to see if you’ve a room for just one night. I came for a treatment this morning from the eastern shore, and there’s no bus ’till morning.’
He told me he’d been hunting for a room since noon but with no success; no one seemed to have a room. ‘I guess it’s my face. I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says with a few more treatments…’
For a moment I hesitated, but his next words convinced me: ‘I could sleep in this rocking chair on the porch. My bus leaves early in the morning.’ I told him we would find him a bed, but to rest on the porch. I went inside and finished getting supper. When we were ready, I asked the old man if he would join us. ‘No thank you. I have plenty’ And he held up a brown paper bag.
When I had finished the dishes, I went out on the porch to talk with him a few minutes. It didn’t take a long time to see that this old man had an oversized heart crowded into that tiny body. He told me he fished for a living to support his daughter, her five children and her husband, who was hopelessly crippled from a back injury.
He didn’t tell it by way of complaint; in fact, every other sentence was prefaced with thanks to God for a blessing. He was grateful that no pain accompanied his disease, which was apparently a form of skin cancer. He thanked God for giving him the strength to keep going.
At bedtime, we put a camp cot in the children’s room for him. When I got up in the morning, the bed linens were neatly folded, and the little man was out on the porch. He refused breakfast, but just before he left for his bus, haltingly, as if asking a great favor, he said, ‘Could I please come back and stay the next time I have a treatment? I won’t put you out a bit. I can sleep fine in a chair.’ He paused a moment and then added, ‘Your children made me feel at home. Grownups are bothered by my face, but children don’t seem to mind.’ I told him he was welcome to come again.
And on his next trip he arrived a little after seven in the morning. As a gift, he brought a big fish and a quart of the largest oysters I had ever seen. He said he had shucked them that morning before he left so that they’d be nice and fresh. I knew his bus left at 4 a.m., and I wondered what time he had to get up in order to do this for us.
In the years he came to stay overnight with us there was never a time that he did not bring us fish or oysters or vegetables from his garden. Other times we received packages in the mail, always by special delivery; fish and oysters packed in a box of fresh young spinach or kale, every leaf carefully washed. Knowing that he must walk three miles to mail these and knowing how little money he had made the gifts doubly precious.
When I received these little remembrances, I often thought of a comment our next-door neighbor made after he left that first morning. ‘Did you keep that awful looking man last night? I turned him away! You can lose roomers by putting up such people!’
Maybe we did lose roomers once or twice But oh! If only they could have known him, perhaps their illness would have been easier to bear. I know our family always will be grateful to have known him; from him we learned what it was to accept the bad without complaint and the good with gratitude to God.
- Author Unknown
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10.26.08
Posted in Blessings, Challenges and Strengths, Personal Perspective, Self Reflection, Thankfulness at 3:00 pm by Sandi Rauwolf
Last week was an eye opening experience. Within the last couple of months we have noticed Samantha becoming obstinate. She was ignoring people. She was looking at them with a stare instead of responding and then going about her business as if they did not even exist. It appeared to all around her that she wasn’t listening, following directions or being very respectful. It had been weighing heavily on my mind. What was going on with my baby?
Well, I knew she had not been feeling well due to experiencing bad allergy symptoms despite testing negative for all of them so I made an appointment for the allergist who referred her to an ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat Specialist). As we sat in the ENT doctor’s office he was asking her questions and she just stared at him. I said, “Samantha, please answer the doctor honey don’t be rude by not responding.” She just sat there with “the” stare again accompanied with a look of being ashamed but still looking away not responding. I couldn’t understand what was going on with our little girl.
I told the doctor about her recent behavior so he examined her and noticed her ears were filled with fluid. He wanted to test her hearing so instructed us to walk down the hall to the hearing test room. I am not sure if you have ever seen one of these rooms but it is a soundproof booth equipped with a few different headsets and a chair facing a window where the technician performing the test can be seen by the patient. In walks my little baby into this small soundproof booth. I wasn’t sure if she would be brave because she would be alone in this little room with only a stranger staring back at her thru a small window. But she WAS brave and went right in! The technician put the headset on her and explained he was going to be speaking to her through the microphone. He told her that she would hear him thru the headset. He explained he would be saying words to her and would like her to repeat them back to ensure she was hearing Him clearly. He walked out of the small soundproof booth and shut the door behind him. She was enclosed with soundproof walls and completely shut off from the rest of the world. There were chairs right outside of the booth so I sat and watched the test being performed. The technician said a word into the microphone … “pancake” but instead of my little girl repeating pancake she said something like “panck”. He then said, “baseball”. She responded with something like “bab”. I don’t remember the exact way she repeated back the words but it was not even close to what he had said. It was a very distorted version of the word spoken to her. I sat there with tears rolling down my face. She clearly could not hear despite him speaking loudly and clearly into the microphone. What she was hearing was a muffled version of the technician’s voice.
Here our perception of her being obstinate and disrespectful was completely wrong. She wasn’t disrespecting. She could NOT hear! The fluid in her ears was preventing her from hearing properly so much in fact that they scheduled surgery for Wednesday (please say a prayer for our angel?) Sitting in that doctor’s office, my heart was heavy and I felt terrible for the way we had been treating her based on our false perception. I just kept hugging her and telling her how sorry I was.
Later that night while I was praying for the surgery next week to restore her hearing, I realized how much I needed to ask for forgiveness and pray for myself as well. I asked God to help me see the world AGAIN through His eyes, with His heart and NOT with a displaced perspective. We thought we were doing the right thing having consequences for those disrespectful moments. The problem was we didn’t have all of the facts but yet we reacted as if we did. Her blank stare when someone would talk to her was because she couldn’t hear what was being said but was too ashamed to say anything. My heart was broken!
God really opened my eyes to a couple of things:
1. We need to be mindful of our perceptions of every situation and ensure we do NOT assume anything no matter how obvious something appears. We can save ourselves and others a lot of pain if we see a situation for what it is based on facts instead of past emotional hurts or assumptions that may skew our perspective.
I’m quickly learning that if I really want God to send me to help others then I need to learn to listen with His ears and see with His eyes so none of my baggage causes wrong perceptions.
“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’ He said, ‘Go and tell this people: ‘Be ever hearing; be ever seeing, but never perceiving.” Isaiah 6:8-9
2. How often are we the ones sitting inside the soundbooth with God speaking to us but there is something keeping us from hearing him clearly? How many things get in the way of us hearing His voice? Too many, I’m afraid. It can be the busyness of our lives. It can be the wrong influences whether alcohol, gambling or some type of addiction – it can be our peers. Are we surrounding ourselves with people that have our best interests in mind – loving us and helping us to become the people God made us to be?
We need to learn to listen to His voice and hold fast to our God so that blessings will come into our lives.
“This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.” Deuteronomy 30:19-20
God is amazing! Once we open our hearts and minds to Him, He surrounds us with what appears to be “every day” moments like Samantha’s hearing test but within those “every day” moments there lies a very powerful message from Him. The thought I would like to leave you with today is how many messages is He sending you? Can you hear Him?
Blessings!
Sandi :)
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10.14.08
Posted in Love, Self Reflection at 9:31 pm by Sandi Rauwolf
The last few weeks we have faced some painful truths about ourselves (ouch!). They certainly were not very comfortable to think about or put out there but all VERY important to our spiritual maturity. God has now opened our eyes to the importance of a REAL relationship with Him.
And to think I had it wrong for so long!!! Getting caught up in all Satan was sending my way – every doubt, every worry, every trap … he convinced me there was no way God could love me and I certainly wasn’t worthy of God’s forgiveness. But boy did the evil one deceive me because God patiently waits for us to invite Him into our hearts and desire the most important relationship we will ever have … one with Him.
I’ve opened my heart to LOVE (to God) and it has forever changed my life. I hope you have decided to do the same. “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” 1 John 4:16
LOVE allows us to see others with compassion and empathy instead of thru harsh, judging eyes.
LOVE allows us to more easily forgive instead of holding onto grudges and bitterness.
LOVE allows us to open our hearts to the world, to break down the walls.
LOVE allows us to connect to others at a depth that past hurts had walled off.
LOVE allows us to walk with confidence and faith knowing there is a plan for each of us.
LOVE allows us to fully appreciate imperfection by embracing the true understanding of exactly why He sent His son for us.
LOVE allows us to live the life God intended for us by replacing the center of how we live (”I”) with the center of God (“o”) … bringing us LOVE.
I wanted to share with you a neat email my sister sent to me. I think it may help us to understand what God has been opening our eyes to the last few weeks … and that is opening our hearts and installing LOVE.
INSTALLING LOVE
Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?
T.S.: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
C: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first?
T.S.: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
C: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
T.S.: What programs are running?
C: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge, and Resentment running right now.
T.S.: No problem. Love will gradually delete Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?
C: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
T.S.: With pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely deleted.
C: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
T.S.: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
C: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, ‘Error – Program not run on external components.’ What should I do?
T.S.: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
C: So what should I do?
T.S. Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge Your Limitations.
C: Okay, done.
T.S.: Now copy them to the ‘My Heart’ directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
C: Got it. Hey! My Heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over my Heart. Is this normal?
T.S.: Sometimes. For others, it takes awhile, but eventually gets it at the proper time.
So, Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various components to everyone you meet. They will in turn, share it with others and return some cool components back to you.
– Tom Murasso
I encourage each of you to install LOVE and share it with the world … it’s free and the most important gift you could ever give someone. And you wonder why I always say it’s all about the love :)
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 5-8
God is LOVE! :) Blessings and love!
Sandi
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10.09.08
Posted in Forgiveness, Self Reflection at 5:25 am by Sandi Rauwolf
Now that we have put some thought into how we might be judging others, I’m guessing God may have shown you areas in your life where you were being inconspicuously prejudiced. Isn’t it amazing how once we open our hearts to Him, we can clearly see things that prior we looked right past? That is what I love about having this kind of a relationship with God – it is like a whole new world out there! :)
Next God began to teach me the importance of forgiveness. I thought I was a forgiving person but boy did He teach me a thing or two about just how forgiving I wasn’t! I didn’t realize to what level we were to forgive until He tested me time and time again. We all have at least one person who comes into our life who seems to push every button we have or almost seems like they are out to “get” us – don’t you agree? Prior to seeking a REAL relationship with God, I would become so frustrated asking Why? Why do I always have someone like this in my life? It is not fair! One person would seem bad then they would be replaced with someone that was twice as bad. What in the world?? I wanted to scream! So I got frustrated and did everything I could to “avoid” the situation but the more I would try and avoid it, the more God put it front and center in my life.
So I started talking to God about it, Lord, why do I have these difficult people in my life? What am I doing wrong? I forgave them once but they continue to hurt me so they no longer deserve my forgiveness. Please open my eyes and help me understand because I feel frustrated every day! I just felt miserable. God was now helping me so I wasn’t judging others in my life but yet I still didn’t have that peace everyone talked about once you have God in your heart. Instead my heart felt heavy, angry, frustrated and bitter! It certainly would not be a depiction of a beautiful fluffy, pretty red heart you see on Valentine’s cards but more like a heart with an angry, red cartoon face right in the middle of it. I continued to talk to God about it and started asking Him for His Wisdom (that was a new thought I had not prayed about previously – asking for Wisdom). “Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. … Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace.” Proverbs 3:14-17
The next week I had a particularly difficult situation at work with one of “those” difficult people and completely had it. I mean it was the absolute last straw! I even forgave them a couple times already for the SAME thing but yet they continued to walk all over me. I was not going to have the letters on the W E L C O M E mat be replaced with S A N D I. Ohhhh was I upset and carried that around all through the weekend too! I was even snapping at the kids on the way to church. Their lackadaisical attitude and no sense of urgency whatsoever about getting ready that morning got on my last nerve. By the time I actually sat my butt in a chair at service, I was even angrier than I was a couple of days before. Then the pastor started talking about forgiveness and the message really hit home. It was about the importance of understanding the true role of forgiveness. How often do we feel the other person doesn’t deserve our forgiveness? But wait … we need to think through this a little bit – who are we “really” hurting? I quickly thought to myself Well them, of course and deservedly so! Well, I was wrong. When we fail to forgive others we end up carrying that bitterness and anger around in OUR hearts, not theirs. We not only make ourselves miserable but all of those around us (like I had done to my children that morning). I realized that God was patiently waiting for me to let things go and forgive others in order for me to get one step closer to that peace we all want so much.
I have never looked at forgiveness the same way again and realized we are not only to forgive others once but over and over again. How often would we want our loving Father to forgive us? Endlessly! I wondered what the Bible had to say about this subject so God opened my eyes to the scripture. “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times?’” Matthew 18:21-22
SEVENTY-SEVEN TIMES, wow – now that’s a concept, huh?
So I started to apply that in my life and boy did it make a big difference. Sure I had others saying, “You’re such a pushover. They don’t deserve your forgiveness.” But I kept thinking how much I wanted God to continue to forgive me over and over for all of the mistakes I made so I needed to learn to do the same to others. I mean they aren’t perfect either – right?
God then took it one step further, He showed me not only am I to forgive but I am to move on – put it behind me and QUIT throwing it back in their faces once I have forgiven them for something. Don’t we all fall into that trap where we forgive someone but then the first chance we can, we throw it back at them like a pitch whirled by the best pitcher in the league? Yes, I have been very guilty of that one! God certainly doesn’t remind us of the sins that He has forgiven us for now does He? No! But, Satan does – that’s for sure! If you let him, he will continue to taunt you with past guilt trying to forever rob you of the peace God wants for each of us. God does not want us holding bitterness or anger in our hearts. So once you have forgiven someone, let it go (including forgiving yourself) – do not beat a dead horse.
I can’t help but visualize Jesus on the cross from “The Passion of the Christ” movie. Here He had been spit at, beaten and hung on the cross to die. As they continued to mistreat Him in ways that are incomprehensible, He says “Forgive them, they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34 So I ask, is there anyone in your life who you need to forgive today? Chances are likely their eyes have not yet been opened to having a REAL relationship with God so carry the same thought with you today that Jesus had up on that cross … “they know not what they do”.
God bless!
Love,
Sandi :)
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10.03.08
Posted in Judging Others, Self Reflection at 11:48 am by Sandi Rauwolf
Based on emails I have received, it seems many can relate to the emptiness I described in my last blog and how nothing filled that space in my heart until I had a REAL relationship with God. So the question comes up … how? I want to fill that emptiness and have a relationship with God but how?
As with any relationship, it takes time, an open heart, love and a willingness to give it everything you’ve got to make it work – especially when times get hard.
My first step was getting to know God better. I knew about Him but had formed an opinion before I really knew Him – that was my first mistake and lesson God taught me. We are not to judge others. “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:2 This made me do some thinking that is for sure – do I really want to be judged the way I was unknowingly judging others? No way! It was time for me to pay attention to exactly how I perceived those around me and just how much judgment I was doing without even realizing it.
The message was clear. We are to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 19:19) – love the world surrounding us. As I shared in my LOVE blog, I’ve always felt it is all about the love. “To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all …” (Mark 12:33). More important “than all” … that’s because with love in our hearts, it is much easier to see the world thru God’s eyes. It’s much easier not to judge. It’s much easier to love despite imperfections. It’s much easier to forgive. It’s much easier to give without expecting back. It’s much easier to unselfishly give our time to help others. It’s much easier to live with love. God is LOVE.
Pray for God to help you see the world thru His eyes. It’s amazing how differently you see things and what lessons He will teach you (and continue to teach you). My “impression” of God was wrong and it was keeping me from the life He had planned for me all along. I had a closed minded perspective and needed to open my mind and heart to Him and all He was doing in my life and in the lives of those around me.
I couldn’t help but think Wow! I was judging people and didn’t realize that not only was I judging but my judging was robbing me of the life God has planned for me and also robbing them of the unconditional love God wants amongst us. Who am I to judge someone or what they are doing in life just because it wouldn’t be something I would do? How many things do I do that someone else doesn’t approve of? How many mistakes have I made that God has forgiven me for but the world thru “judging” eyes would not be able to get past it because they aren’t seeing it thru His loving eyes?
At that moment, I knew I wanted to see others as God sees me. Growing up I was always reminded when you point the finger at someone else, look at your hand. How many fingers are pointing back in your direction? Exactly – many more than the one finger you are pointing towards someone else! That thought brings to mind what Jesus said, “If any of you is without sin, let them be the first to throw a stone …” (John 8:7).
How can we stand and judge anyone when none of us are free from sin? I also struggled with that realization. It took some time for me to admit out loud that I am a sinner. We are all sinners. But, my perception was that we had to be perfect to have a relationshp with God so how could I do that but not be free from every sin? Perplexing! There were so many rules, so many ways for me to disappoint God! It seemed impossible because I would always fall short of the Glory of God despite all of my attempts. So I talked to God about it A LOT praying for guidance and Wisdom. He continues to open my eyes to His Truth. We are ALL sinners and have been from the moment Adam ate from the forbidden tree (Genesis 3:17).
We are imperfect and forever will be on this earth and the denial that we are sinners is denying Truth. “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” (1 Job 1:18) This was a concept I hadn’t previously grasped and that is God knows I am a sinner but loves me despite my imperfections. He knows my heart. He knows my sins before I commit them just like when Jesus told Peter you will disown me three times before the rooster crows and Peter said “I will never disown you” but he did just as Jesus said (Matthew 26:34) but Jesus still loved him. So I realized God loves me, imperfections and all – that is why He sent his only son for my sins and yours.
Now there’s an idiom … here the ONE thing that was keeping me from God – sin (because I didn’t feel worthy) – is the whole reason I needed Christianity (Jesus so I could forever be forgiven of my sins).
Now this does not mean as Christians we have a license to sin. But what it means is not denying the fact that we are born sinners and to quit pretending we and others are suppose to be perfect in an imperfect world. Jesus is perfect. We are not, that is why we need Him. Once we understand this, God enters our hearts thru the Holy Spirit and begins changing us. He molds us as we walk our journey. When we fall or stray and trust me, He knows we are going to fall or stray. He is there to pick us up and bring us back. He surrounds us with people to support us, guide us in His Word, and love us despite our flaws – despite our imperfections – despite our sins because they understand too that we are all imperfect. Just remember that no matter how lost we may become, He will find His lost sheep.
Jesus told this parable in Luke 15:4-7 “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.’”
So I’ll leave you with this thought … Who might you unknowingly be judging in your life today? I encourage you to take this first step in a REAL relationship with God. Talk to Him about it, pray for guidance and the ability to see the world thru His eyes. None of us are perfect. He knows that – but, He will come into our hearts and start changing us if we let Him in. Leave the judging to God so He may find His lost sheep whether it is you who may be feeling a little lost right now or someone close to you.
Blessings and Love!
Sandi :)
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09.09.08
Posted in Love, Self Reflection, Simplicity at 6:18 pm by Sandi Rauwolf
God is AMAZING and so incredibly good! He continues to overflow my heart with so much that it is difficult to describe. My heart feels more than “fluffy” these days, descriptive to how my daughter explains what her heart feels like when she loves something so much her heart could burst!
Those of you who know me understand that my belief is all about the LOVE … for without LOVE, there is nothing. It’s the premise of everything we do, everything we live, and everything we strive to be. Sure I am faced with arguments of it being more about the Truth with attempts to get me to remove my rose colored glasses but then God continues to send me something confirming how much it is about the LOVE. No matter what we face, if we would just fill our hearts with LOVE, we suddenly find ourselves enswathed with the opportunity to see the world through God’s eyes. And, it is magnificent – it changes every aspect of our lives going forward, changing us forever.
Imagine pure LOVE in our hearts for all that surrounds us, all who cross our paths. Pure LOVE giving us the ability to have God’s eyes just for one second. When we do, it’s as if we have put on magical glasses – glasses that allow us to walk through life living in the way God intended – with a LOVE filled heart for the world … for everything and everyone in it. There’s no judgment of others (Matthew 7:2), no grudges (Leviticus 19:18), no hate (Luke 6:27) … nothing that is unforgivable (Matthew 6:15). Everything that we are surrounded with suddenly looks different despite the fact that the same scenery has been surrounding us for years. That LOVE is what begins to change us and continues to change us. It is the foundation for all that follows.
It’s similar to how our perspective changes once we become parents. Our hearts are NEVER the same after we are blessed with a child. One of my close friends in Philadelphia was just sharing that exact feeling with me after the birth of their Angel baby, Evy. Our hearts become filled with unconditional, pure LOVE for this beautiful little miracle who stares back at us with the same unconditional, pure LOVE – a LOVE that is so new, so innocent, so perfect that we can actually “feel” God because it permeates our soul. Life will never be the same – we now see things differently.
The children that once annoyed us by being too noisy while we were trying to have a nice dinner, or the kid that frustrated us beyond belief bumping up against our arm every time he would run up and down the aisle on the train (you know the one … exactly! The one your mind drifts off for a minute to think, I outta! lol). But, now our heart feels differently and our perspective is completely new. We no longer look at them as annoying little rug rats. Instead our mind flashes back to a moment we have shared with our little one. Suddenly, a smile creeps across our face. We shake our head and go back to reading our newspaper with a LOVE filled heart being reminded that not long ago a moment like this would have ruined our day, but now ironically, we embrace that moment and hold onto it throughout our day to ease any frustration that might come our way.
My friends, if we have LOVE in our hearts it truly does change everything. I can’t think of a better way to live my life than with a heart filled with LOVE. Why is that people ask? It’s because God “is” LOVE. So again, without LOVE (without Him) there truly is nothing.
Without Love (There Is Nothing)
Elvis Presley
(Words & music by Danny Small )
I awakened this morning, I was filled with despair
All my dreams turned to ashes and gone, oh yeah
As I looked at my life it was barren and bare
Without love I’ve had nothing at all
Without love I’ve had nothing
Without love I’ve had nothing at all
I have conquered the world
All but one thing did I have
Without love I’ve had nothing at all
Once I had a sweetheart who loved only me
There was nothing, oh that she would not give, oh no
But I was blind to her goodness and I could not see
That a heart without love cannot live
Without love I’ve had nothing
Without love I’ve had nothing at all
I have conquered the world
All but one thing did I have
Without love I’ve had nothing at all
May you fill your heart with LOVE and see the world and everyone in it through God’s eyes – just for one second. Lots of LOVE!
Sandi
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08.11.08
Posted in Challenges and Strengths, Encouragement, Inspirational, Personal Perspective, Self Reflection, Transformation at 9:35 pm by Sandi Rauwolf
It seems these days God continues to move me, and in big ways. With the book coming out, I find myself in moments of phantasm, drifting back to a time when a normal, healthy life was nothing more than a glimmer of hope mixed in with an undying faith of God’s plan for me … but yet, trusting completely in that plan no matter what the outcome. Those moments, today — now flood me with emotions that are hard to get on paper, but I’ll try.
It’s a butterfly moment … the moment when a beautiful butterfly can finally free itself from its cocoon, leaving the old and ugliness behind. All of that horrible ugliness is replaced with something exceptional … a feeling of being on top of the world, floating on air, expanding its wings and glancing down to see if indeed it’s all “real” because it feels too incredible – too good to be true. Then it discovers that not only is it floating, but things are even better than that. God has taken such an ugly beginning and magically transformed every moment of darkness into something incredibly beautiful, something beyond comprehension. And you sit here as living proof of His grace and endless possibilities. How is that possible? How could it be? How could something so ugly, so seemingly encased in darkness for that long emerge a symbol of grace and love representing nothing less than the true meaning of HOPE?
That moment, that incredible transformation, my friends, is proof of how God CAN and DOES take the ugliest, the darkest of situations and transforms them into something truly magnificent. My heart overflows with thankfulness for the opportunity to sit here sharing my thoughts with you while glancing forward at the endless possibility of helping others in their faith by reason of those darkest, most challenging times.
Tears fill my eyes with not only a “knowing” but a true understanding that every second is a gift and “getting” that in the darkest of times, we should not feel secluded but instead feel protected, like the butterfly in its cocoon – trusting His plan and knowing that God can, without a doubt, transform something horribly ugly and dark into a beautiful creation – a creation that is so incomprehensible that it could only be possible with Him.
May God bless you with a butterfly moment reminding you that no matter what you may be facing, trust His plan for you – be patient while he creates something truly magnificent in your life. Hugs!
Sandi :)
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