10.09.08

SEVENTY-SEVEN …

Posted in Forgiveness, Self Reflection at 5:25 am by Sandi Rauwolf

Now that we have put some thought into how we might be judging others, I’m guessing God may have shown you areas in your life where you were being inconspicuously prejudiced. Isn’t it amazing how once we open our hearts to Him, we can clearly see things that prior we looked right past? That is what I love about having this kind of a relationship with God – it is like a whole new world out there! :)

Next God began to teach me the importance of forgiveness. I thought I was a forgiving person but boy did He teach me a thing or two about just how forgiving I wasn’t! I didn’t realize to what level we were to forgive until He tested me time and time again. We all have at least one person who comes into our life who seems to push every button we have or almost seems like they are out to “get” us – don’t you agree? Prior to seeking a REAL relationship with God, I would become so frustrated asking Why? Why do I always have someone like this in my life? It is not fair! One person would seem bad then they would be replaced with someone that was twice as bad. What in the world?? I wanted to scream! So I got frustrated and did everything I could to “avoid” the situation but the more I would try and avoid it, the more God put it front and center in my life.

So I started talking to God about it, Lord, why do I have these difficult people in my life? What am I doing wrong? I forgave them once but they continue to hurt me so they no longer deserve my forgiveness. Please open my eyes and help me understand because I feel frustrated every day! I just felt miserable. God was now helping me so I wasn’t judging others in my life but yet I still didn’t have that peace everyone talked about once you have God in your heart. Instead my heart felt heavy, angry, frustrated and bitter! It certainly would not be a depiction of a beautiful fluffy, pretty red heart you see on Valentine’s cards but more like a heart with an angry, red cartoon face right in the middle of it. I continued to talk to God about it and started asking Him for His Wisdom (that was a new thought I had not prayed about previously – asking for Wisdom). “Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. … Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace.” Proverbs 3:14-17

The next week I had a particularly difficult situation at work with one of “those” difficult people and completely had it. I mean it was the absolute last straw! I even forgave them a couple times already for the SAME thing but yet they continued to walk all over me. I was not going to have the letters on the W E L C O M E mat be replaced with S A N D I. Ohhhh was I upset and carried that around all through the weekend too! I was even snapping at the kids on the way to church. Their lackadaisical attitude and no sense of urgency whatsoever about getting ready that morning got on my last nerve. By the time I actually sat my butt in a chair at service, I was even angrier than I was a couple of days before. Then the pastor started talking about forgiveness and the message really hit home. It was about the importance of understanding the true role of forgiveness. How often do we feel the other person doesn’t deserve our forgiveness? But wait … we need to think through this a little bit – who are we “really” hurting? I quickly thought to myself Well them, of course and deservedly so! Well, I was wrong. When we fail to forgive others we end up carrying that bitterness and anger around in OUR hearts, not theirs. We not only make ourselves miserable but all of those around us (like I had done to my children that morning). I realized that God was patiently waiting for me to let things go and forgive others in order for me to get one step closer to that peace we all want so much.

I have never looked at forgiveness the same way again and realized we are not only to forgive others once but over and over again. How often would we want our loving Father to forgive us? Endlessly! I wondered what the Bible had to say about this subject so God opened my eyes to the scripture. “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times?’” Matthew 18:21-22

SEVENTY-SEVEN TIMES, wow – now that’s a concept, huh?

So I started to apply that in my life and boy did it make a big difference. Sure I had others saying, “You’re such a pushover. They don’t deserve your forgiveness.” But I kept thinking how much I wanted God to continue to forgive me over and over for all of the mistakes I made so I needed to learn to do the same to others. I mean they aren’t perfect either – right?

God then took it one step further, He showed me not only am I to forgive but I am to move on – put it behind me and QUIT throwing it back in their faces once I have forgiven them for something. Don’t we all fall into that trap where we forgive someone but then the first chance we can, we throw it back at them like a pitch whirled by the best pitcher in the league? Yes, I have been very guilty of that one! God certainly doesn’t remind us of the sins that He has forgiven us for now does He? No! But, Satan does – that’s for sure! If you let him, he will continue to taunt you with past guilt trying to forever rob you of the peace God wants for each of us. God does not want us holding bitterness or anger in our hearts. So once you have forgiven someone, let it go (including forgiving yourself) – do not beat a dead horse.

I can’t help but visualize Jesus on the cross from “The Passion of the Christ” movie. Here He had been spit at, beaten and hung on the cross to die. As they continued to mistreat Him in ways that are incomprehensible, He says “Forgive them, they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34 So I ask, is there anyone in your life who you need to forgive today? Chances are likely their eyes have not yet been opened to having a REAL relationship with God so carry the same thought with you today that Jesus had up on that cross … “they know not what they do”.

God bless!

Love,
Sandi :)

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