09.25.08
The REAL Secret …
I have had some great conversations with people lately about religion, church, rules and faith. During my discussions whether it has been thru email, face-to-face or over the phone what seems prominent as the common thread is that most share this innate desire to fill a void in their hearts but not sure how to go about it. Mainly, because they are not sure exactly what is missing. What is the answer? How can it be that so many people are proud of their religion but when it comes down to how they feel inside, they regretfully admit “a bit overwhelmed with life, a bit empty”. So we stand there scratching our heads and trying to make sense of it all. Aren’t church and religion supposed to help with all of that? We think I’m going to church. I’m trying to be good – why do I feel so empty inside?
Well I understand, trust me. I was there once too! Despite feeling I was blessed with the gift of faith from the time I was a little girl, I still felt empty inside and continually sought something but what was I seeking exactly? I would use everything to try and fill that horrible emptiness. And despite an incredible life there was still a void in my heart. I would shout in my head I just don’t get it, Lord! Why do I feel so empty inside? What am I missing? So at different times throughout my life, out in the world I would go to try to fill that emptiness with …
Shopping – boy did I fill my closet with clothes, shoes, purses, make-up – pretty much anything I could buy especially if it was on sale! :) … still felt empty!
Career – I would delve myself into hours of work trying to please my customers and everyone around me but felt nothing I would do was ever good enough for anyone … still felt empty!
Alcohol – Oh I shamefully indulged (and even some of the times in excess) my share of Bacardi and Diet Cokes, and Martinis. Certainly not a proper thing to do especially for a young lady but I would indagate the answer thru the newest drink fad … still felt empty!
Relationships – I sure kissed my share of toads that is for sure! I would go on dates with guys that seemed to be perfect on paper (well some not so perfect and much more towards the bad boy syndrome side of things). I would also fill every spare minute with friends and family but not one of them filled the void … still felt empty!
Church – I thought for sure this was THE answer! Unfortunately, the churches I attended at the time didn’t fit for me. I still felt empty so found myself going to church out of obligation instead of excitement. And truthfully, when I would go to church, I often didn’t feel I was good ENOUGH. I am far from perfect and the people there seemed to have an air about them that made me feel unworthy. As Christians, aren’t we suppose to love one another unconditionally and not judge others? God is our judge and we will stand before Him so why did I feel a church judging me? Or better asked, why were people part of a church judging me, a lost soul? Isn’t a church a place for lost souls to find their way to God? And sadly unbeknown to them, the religion thing was sure doing a good job of pushing me away – far away from God. It certainly did not make me want to seek God more that is for sure. I don’t know but I knew it just wasn’t working for me … still felt empty!
Bible – Ah Ha! The answer had to be in here! I would dig into the Bible (countless times) but to my surprise I would end up getting frustrated because I didn’t understand it. I would feel lost and confused – none of it made any sense to me. I would read something and think – how does this relate to me, Lord? I don’t get it! … still felt empty!
I was seeking anything and everything to try and fill that void in my heart – that horrible feeling of emptiness! WHAT IS THE ANSWER? I prayed and cried, I STILL FEEL EMPTY, LORD! Please help me!
Then God began to open my eyes and my heart to the REAL answer. The REAL answer is not found in malls, bars, churches or religion. The answer is having a REAL relationship with God. You may be thinking, well wait a minute Sandi that is what I have in church and with my religion. I used to think the same thing but … is that really a relationship with God or is it doing something(s) to make it seem like I had a relationship with God? Let’s just say I was a good pretender.
I realized I needed to welcome God into my life. I needed to learn to have a REAL relationship with Him. So I started thinking of God as my best friend who would never leave my side, who I loved more than anything in this world, who I knew would always give me good guidance and never leave my side, who I wanted to share every part of my life with even the parts I am not so proud of because I know He will love me no matter what and will help me to become the person I am suppose to be. God became the center of my life, the center of my heart and filled every last inch of emptiness. All of the rest just followed. I found a church that helped me grow and continues to help me grow my relationship with God. I find that each week I cannot wait to get there to feed my soul. I can’t get my hands on enough good books like The Shack that helps feed my soul during the week. I can’t wait to serve and help others because it fills my soul so much! I am finally understanding the Bible and as silly as it sounds, I didn’t know there was a Bible for people just like me that was written in everyday language that I understand – the Life Application Bible. It is awesome!
I have to say living life with God as my true best friend has changed everything for me. It’s the REAL secret in life and I wish someone would have shared it with me long ago so that is why I want to share it with you, my friends. I lost myself in the facade of religion. I didn’t seek and have a REAL relationship with God. He is waiting for you to ask Him to become your best friend too. It’s amazing how your life changes once you do. Blessings and hugs!!!
Sandi
PS While I was writing my blog the song “Broken” by Jack Johnson started playing and I thought how wonderful God is that He would allow the timing of lyrics that are so perfect to how we feel before a true relationship with Him … Broken so I wanted to share them below.
Broken
(Song by Jack Johnson)
With everything ahead of us, we left
everything behind
but nothin that we needed at least
not at this time and now
the feelin that I’m feelin, well
is feelin like my life is finally mine
and with nothin to go back to
we just continue to drive
Without you I was broken
but I’d rather be broke down with you by my side
said without you I was broken
but I’d rather be broke down with you by my side
I didn’t know what I was lookin for so I
didn’t know what I’d find
I didn’t know what I was missin I guess
You’d been just a little too kind
and if I find just what I need
put a little peace in my mind
maybe you been lookin too
or maybe you don’t even need to try
Without you I was broken
but I’d rather be broke down with you by my side
said without you I was broken
but I’d rather be broke down with you by my side
(instrumental interlude)
With everything in the past
fadin faster and faster until it was gone
found out I was losin so much more
than I knew all along
But everything I been workin for
only worth nickels and dimes
but if I had a minute for every hour that I wasted
I’d be rich and kind
I’d be doin fine
Without you I was broken
but I’d rather be broke down with you by my side
said without you I was broken
but I’d rather be broke down with you by my side
Without you I was broken
but I’d rather be broke down with you by my side
said without you I was broken
but I’d rather be broke down with you by my side
