09.16.08

WHY …

Posted in Why at 11:48 pm by Sandi Rauwolf

God keeps surrounding me with conversations of adversity – that topic always seems to come up, doesn’t it? Whether we, a friend, a family member, a coworker, or a complete stranger are staring adversity in the face, this particular topic tends to rear its ugly head and before we know it out comes … WHY?

WHY me/them?

WHY would a loving God allow me/them to face such challenges?

WHY isn’t God answering my prayers?

WHY isn’t God listening?

WHY would He allow such bad things to happen to such good people?

WHY?!? WHY?!? WHY?!?

So how does God feel when He hears His children ask WHY so many times? Is He angry? Is He frustrated because we just don’t seem to be “getting” it? Or instead is His heart filled with love and patience knowing the WHY stage is critical to our spiritual journey? It must be similar to a loving parent of a toddler that seems to only have one word in his vocabulary … WHY. If you have been around little ones, whether they are your own children, nieces, nephews, or a friend’s little ones, we are all familiar with the WHY stage.

Looking back now, I fully understand how critical those years were to developing my children on this path to maturity. When Ty would ask WHY mommy, I would pause and smile at his innocence. He thought he was so grown up, but there he stood not quite mature enough to understand the things surrounding him – things that were so easily understood and clear to me but yet just outside of his mental grasp. It would fill my heart with love while I patiently guided him on a path that taught him some very valuable lessons.

Some of the WHYs brought disappointments, some joy but the most important WHYs were the WHYs that brought painful lessons. Those particular WHYs were shortly followed by a sudden test of independence when he thought he had it all figured out and didn’t trust completely in mom just yet. I mean. Why did he need mom when he could do this on his own, or so he thought. That independence and the painful lessons that followed allowed him to discover how deep my love is for him and helped him realize that my guidance is there to help him and protect him not hurt him in any way. I did not cause the pain for him, his independence caused the pain.

But that streak of independence is part of growing up so although I could have stopped it, I didn’t. Yes, I wanted to prevent him from falling but my love for him is so great that I had to let him learn the lessons that were necessary to help him trust in me. Instead, I would patiently watch with loving guidance while he tested those boundaries – all which led him back into my loving arms. Those moments when he fell were the exact moments that taught him how much he needed me. As much as he thought he could do things on his own, he realized he could not so would turn back to me for guidance, love and support. Those painful moments were necessary in teaching him to trust me, my love and guidance for him.

Isn’t that the same way God feels as He looks at us with loving guidance not wanting us to fall but knowing that independence is part of helping us mature. He didn’t cause the pain but He allows it because He loves us. In life, those falls teach us so much and are critical to our growth. So whether you are just beginning the WHY stage or are right in the middle of it, consider each adversity pure joy (1 James 2:4). I know that is a hard concept to wrap your head around but after going through all I did, it now makes complete sense to me. Without adversity, I would not have learned to persevere. I would not have been forced to turn to God as my last and only hope.

Every challenge I faced, every tear I shed brought me one step closer to my relationship with God. I found that infallibly when I hit bottom, I truly had no place else to look but up. My faith strengthened with every single tear and every painful lesson. I am so grateful that God loves me enough that He allowed me to gain such a strength and perseverance through those lessons although at the time, I did not understand them and was no stranger to that WHY stage myself.

Today though, I honestly would not change a single second of those painful moments I faced. WHY? I am more than blessed to be in this particular WHY stage of understanding just how important each of those moments were to my growth – each brought me one step closer to the person God made me to be and it’s incredible! :) May you open your heart and mind to what God may be doing through any adversities you might be facing today – with a new perspective of His love for you. Blessings and love!

Sandi

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